If you’ve been around here (or my Instagram) long enough, you know I’ve been on a pretty wild ride the last year as I’ve peeled back layer after layer of the armor I built around myself my entire adult life.
I hope to share more about the steps I took, and what lead me to them, as I move into this year feeling more confident about my outsides and my insides finally aligning, and better capable of enforcing and maintaining healthy boundaries.
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For today, though, I want to introduce you to a person (though many of you probably already know her for her incredible work) who really spoke to my soul at the end of last year because I think her message and approach to life is exactly what so many of us need to hear.
As a Responsibilty.org ambassador for the last 5 years, I’ve had the opportunity to hear many powerful people speak at our yearly summit, and this year’s speaker- Sonya Renee Taylor– was among the best.
This post is sponsored by Responsibility.org. All opinions are my own.
Responsibility.org is all about empowering parents to role model healthy behaviors for their children and make responsible choices, even beyond alcohol consumption. I think it’s become clear to many of us that some of the most important work we can do as parents is to look inward and work on ourselves.
Taylor says “Radical self-love is contagious,” and I’ve seen that play out as I’ve shared some of the radical ways I’ve worked toward healing myself over the last year. I’ve received countless DMs and emails from readers who told me they were inspired to go to therapy, set healthy boundaries with toxic family members, ask about medication, and more after reading what I’ve shared so far.
This delights me! But, what matters most to me is that my radical self-love becomes contagious amongst my kids. I want them to grow up having seen what it looks like for an adult & caregiver to truly and radically put themselves first so that they can show up as a more whole and healthy person. And I want them to feel less shame than I did if/when they ever need to do the same.
Taylor, the author of The Body Is Not An Apology, talked about 4 pillars of radical self-love on our call.
- Taking out the Toxic – dump the junk & curate your social media feeds with accounts that not only share empowering and healthy messaging, but are also diverse!
- Mind Matters – banish the binary of either/or language that erases the humanity of others.
- Unapologetic Action – consider daily practices to exercise the muscle of self-love.
- Collective Compassion – give yourself some grace – love the me that is imperfect and uncertain.
Taylor encouraged us to consider what we can take from 2020 and plant in 2021 with the lessons we learned, and to not “spin the story of the year.” I found that takeaway to be such an important reminder, especially as I’ve done work to unlearn toxic positivity.
It’s so important that we don’t turn the trauma of 2020 into a fairytale and gloss over the really hard things we need to learn from it. It’s even more important we show our kids how to move forward and do the work that 2020 brought into focus. Taylor suggests we take our kids on the journey with us as we contextualize and process our emotions and experiences.
How are you going to move forward in 2021, processing what you’ve learned in 2020- arguably the most difficult year many of us have ever faced- and grow? How are you going to show that to your children in a way that is positively contagious?
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