I wouldn’t be able to tally all the times last year Scott and I looked at each other and bemoaned that the traveling and the national parks, the museums and monuments- maybe it was a colossal waste.
The kids whined EVERYWHERE. They fought EVERYWHERE. They told us they were bored. They asked when we would leave. It never got better. It was an ass kicking, and it got the best of us more than once.
There are some people who say their kids go to parks and museums, and they find themselves in nature and culture. They draw what they see, and come away with an insatiable desire to learn more. Oh, how all this travel fills them with such joy! They see the world changing through their children’s eyes!
I’m not saying they are lying.
I am saying they are not us.
The joy we found, we had to search for in between incessant asks for snacks and eye-rolls because we asked them to fill out a Jr. Ranger packet– as their sole homeschool lesson for the day.
And now you probably think, wow, that sounds pretty damn miserable, and maybe you think, wow, our kids are pretty awful.
I would argue we’re just… normal.
I think we need to talk more about how family experiences aren’t typically magical in the moment. Take all the demands of parenthood, all the emotions of childhood, now pack them all up and take them with you to a place you don’t know, maybe there are actual grizzly bears there who would definitely eat your toddler, and make everyone walk and carry their own water (that’s a lie, you will carry all the water). SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT PLAN.
Still. Do it.
Travel with your kids, even if it’s awful and it feels like the worst idea ever. Travel isn’t always pretty.
2 nights ago, Scott was away with the two littles to work on our RV down at my mom’s. I was in our rental house with the 2 bigs. We sat down for dinner, and they started arguing because that’s the soundtrack of our lives right now. As a way of distracting them, I blurted out:
“Grand Canyon or Antelope Canyon?” They responded with a unanimous vote for Antelope Canyon.
“White Sands or Carlsbad Caverns?” White Sands.
“Whale watching or San Diego Zoo?” The zoo won out.
They asked me to keep going, and I did for as long as I could, trying to recall every place we stopped, all the monuments and the parks, the foods we ate.
Mount Rushmore won one of these this-or-thats, and y’all, that’s bananas because MR was a nightmare. That was not our family’s finest hour.
I got up from the table to clean up, and they sat there, talking about all these things we did with such passion. Asking each other what they missed most about it, what they loved most about it, would they move there? There were my two bigs, no longer fighting with each other, but bonding over this incredible shared experience.
No matter how challenging our time on the road was, we have never regretted it, and I know we never will. We may look back someday and talk about how magical it was, but I hope we remember that the magic came from LIVING it- imperfect, messy, sometimes unhappy- and not just blissfully passing through it.
Even if it sucks, travel with your kids.
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14 comments
Yes! Well said. We are living this with just two littles. We have decided there will be lots of whining and fighting no matter where we are so we might as well be traveling and playing as much as we can anyway. I wrote this in about how to camp with kids…. “The most important thing to know about camping with kids is that it is a lot of work and will likely suck at least some of the time.” https://starbimaging.wordpress.com/2017/06/07/10-tips-for-camping-with-kids-in-style/
Love that! And bravo to you for camping. We need to try that… at some point. LOL. I don’t really count sleeping in our air conditioned RV.
Perfect timing! We just spent two weeks driving from Michigan to Montana and back. We stayed in so many different hotels along the way, we were all fried by theme time we got home. Our boys are 16 & 12, and they frustrated me on a daily basis! Half the time, they wouldn’t get out of the car for a picture. They grew sick of it real quick (I am pretty annoying. I like to capture as much as I can.)
I love your candid posts! I’d totally be friends with you if we lived close. You crack me up!
I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I look at each and say, are we crazy? What were we thinking! We wonder if we really are just selfish and it’s US who want to do this travel, see things, get away. But it’s not easier, it’s not relaxing. But when my boys are recounting our adventures to us, I see the things they learned, the concepts they are aware of, and I think of our time as a family in different places, all I can think of is the good parts.
Yes!! I think this applies to all sorts of things. This week we went to a natural playground, a violence prevention rally, a really child-friendly library, a nature preserve and a farmer’s market festival — and I honestly wondered between the whining, the snacks, the water refills, the too hot/too tired/too EVERYTHING — would we have been better off at home in front of screens? No. They’ve talked about our adventures non-stop as if they were magical and awe-inspiring. So basically… kids are weird, keep on keepin’ on.
Needed to read this today! I am in an hotel room at London Heathrow Airport with my three year old after a week of the two of us excursioning solo around Europe. My child is not easy or chill in any sense of the words, and this was a major test for us, especially when I dropped my cell phone in the Baltic Sea and we were left with no way to navigate around Sweden or back to London. But we managed, and we bonded, and we struggled, and we explored. My husband is meeting us tomorrow and keeps asking if it was worth it. The best answer my bleary-eyed self can give as of now: “Yes, but I’m glad it’s over, too.” LOL. Happy Trails!
Yesssss! We just did a trip abroad with our three kids and people have told us we are nuts. We were fortunate to have family along for help (lots of help!) but it was still challenging at times. In the end, travel is just parenting with different scenery. It’s totally worth it and generally, they only remember the highlights so we choose to focus on those too. ❤️ Your year on the road is still inspiring us to get out and do more with our kids & we loved following along on all of your adventures then and now!
Yes!!!! I am living this at the moment!
Thank you for keeping it real. We have four kids, all the same age and we still do things despite the whining and arguing (which is exhausting at times). And, like you, we think it’s worth it being perfectly imperfect! : 0 )
Traveling with kids is scary — mainly because I’m afraid of losing my shit with him!
LOL! Well, we lost our shit a lot.
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This kind of message is so important- the reminder that we do things not because they are going to be blissful or glittery all the time but because the experience is multi-dimensional.